40:40 Day 21


Have you ever been in love with an alcoholic? 

I don’t recommend it.

I met Rick when I was twenty, and we were engaged and living together within a month. He was twenty-four and charming and cute and so much fun. And he really liked to party. Like, all the time.

I quickly realized that he wasn’t just having a good time. He had a serious problem, and I couldn’t help him.

He was wonderful when he was sober, but the demons came out when he picked up the whiskey bottle. One night he smashed all of our rented furniture and shattered our television, then the next morning asked what had happened to our living room.

It was bad, but I didn’t know how to get out. I truly loved him, but I was totally unprepared for the magnitude of living with an alcoholic.

About ten months in, My “Aunt Flo” was a month late and we picked up a pregnancy test at the store. I don’t know why I waited so long, but that was highly unusual and it seemed pretty likely that I was pregnant. Afterwards,we went out and he, of course,  got hammered. We got into a huge fight when we got home and for the first time ever he did the unthinkable: he hit me and choked me until I saw stars and thought I would pass out. By the grace of God he let go and went to bed, leaving me shocked, shaken, and hurting on the living room floor.

I wouldn’t become a Christian for another four years but I remember laying there with tears streaming down my face begging God to not let me be pregnant.

The next morning I got my period. No baby! Thank God!

 A few days later I was gone. My parents let me come home.  I was dumb to have stayed so long, but thankfully God gave me the courage and wisdom to get out before it was too late. 

It is crazy to me that God is still with us, loving us, when we couldn’t be farther from him. Blows my mind. He is good.

Prayer: For God to free the people in our lives from addiction and alcoholism, and for the victims of domestic abuse to have the courage to get help or get out.

*Complete healing for J. Her back is still full of lumps and she has recently begun running a low-grade fever. Please join me in thanking God for the healing I am trusting He is already doing in her.

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