Open-ish

Happy Tuesday.

So, because I’m not exactly sure what to write about this morning, I thought it would be a great time to tell you something I’ve avoided talking about.

My hooha.

More specifically, the improbability that I will be able to have a baby without divine intervention or some pale person in a lab coat doing science.

The words “completely blocked” don’t carry much hope. Also, maybe it’s not the best bedside manner to say “Have a good one!” after telling someone they’ll need to spend thousands of dollars if they ever want to have another child.

Anyhoo.

I am grateful for my life. I do get to be a mama part-time, and I have the very best husband and a wonderful circle of friends. The Lord has healed my heart from our loss last year enough to be truly, genuinely happy for all seventy-six of my friends who have gotten pregnant this year.

I have never had to have children. But I don’t love being told I can’t. So what is my response to an unwanted diagnosis? Or is it prognosis? I need that scientist…

My response is to trust God and pray.

God is bigger than a blocked tube. If he wants me to get pregnant, I will be pregnant. Or maybe he has something else for us…

I know we are not interested in IVF. There is no judgment for those who pursue this method, but since I haven’t been longing for my own child, and I know there are already children here who need families, adoption would be the route we’d take if we decided to have more children.

Honesty time. I don’t have a great longing to adopt. But I’m becoming less opposed to it, which is surprising. Changing diapers has never been my spiritual gift. I’ve been listening to a great book called Adopted for Life and I see adoption all throughout the Bible. God tells us to care for the widow and the orphan. He leads by example. God could have left us in our sin and misery, but instead he chose to make us part of his family; heirs to an indescribably beautiful inheritance: forever with the One who loves us completely. Adoption is beautiful.

So here we are. I have no misconception adopting would be easy. It would be hard. And expensive. Maybe we won’t. Maybe God has other plans for us. It is something to pray about, though, and if God leads us to grow our family through adoption, we will obey.

At least I’m still young. Oh wait…

Angela

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