Real Men Wear Pants


Today I am going to broach my most controversial blog topic yet..

Christian women, what if we let our husbands be the head of the home?

I just made a weird sound in my throat. Because this one is hard for me. Try doing your own thing for thirty-nine years, marrying someone who wasn’t even alive until you were in third grade, and then letting that baby have the final say in decisions.

Welcome to my life.

I am not great at this, but it is important to me because God gave us the blessing of marriage, and just like everything else, there’s a divine order to it. Marriages work better when two people are not fighting for control, and the Bible says the man should hold the responsibility of being the head of the home.

Ephesians 5:21-33 NLT
[21] And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. [22] For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. [23] For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. [24] As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. [25] For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her [26] to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. [27] He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. [28] In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. [29] No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. [30] And we are members of his body. [31] As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” [32] This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. [33] So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. …

I know. Old fashioned, right? It’s just another Biblical tenet that has gotten thrown out as society has “progressed”. Women need to be tough and independent. Submission to our husbands is archaic and oppressive. That’s what they want us to think, anyway.

God’s way of life is always the best way. Even when it flies in the face of modern culture. Especially when it flies in the face of modern culture.

I submit to you that there is beauty in marriage when we do it God’s way. It is a mutual submission, with different callings. And the man’s role way more sacrificial! Did you see the part about the husband loving his wife as his own body and laying down his life for her as Christ did for the church? What woman wouldn’t want to be loved this way?

Ok, so here’s the crucial part. You need to marry a man who loves God and will love you God’s way. If you are not married yet, don’t settle for the first flashy smile that comes your way! Because no woman wants to submit to a selfish, foolish man. That’s a recipe for a lifetime of unhappiness.

I married my husband because he is kind and thoughtful and responsible. He seeks wisdom from the Lord and, yes, he values my opinion. He is worthy of my respect. I trust him to make wise decisions for our family. I can let go of the reins and rest easy because I trust him completely. It’s a great feeling.

So, what if you desire to live God’s way but have already said yes to a lifetime of disagreement with a man who doesn’t follow God? It’s going to be harder for you. I’m sorry, but there’s no other way to say it. When we hitch our wagon to someone headed in a different direction, there will be tension. Here’s what the Bible says to you, friend:

1 Corinthians 7:13-16 NLT
[13] And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. [14] For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. [15] (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the believing husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.) [16] Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you? …

Your faith, prayers, and godly behavior could change your husband’s heart and allow him to see the blessing of a life lived for the Lord. Don’t be discouraged. God is with you.

I am not great at this particular practice. But I see the value in it, and I want the best for our marriage and our family.

Let’s encourage men to be men. And women to be women. Crazy talk, I know.

But I might just be on to something..


P.S. I just realize I wrote “I submit to you” in one of my sentences. Pun not intended, but I’m not sorry it happened.

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