Except for this picture. This is definitely filtered. 🤣

My poor husband. We’re enjoying a cozy Sunday snuggled into the couch, watching Ordinary Joe, making passing comments about how everything has to be woke these days, and then I grow noticeably more dissatisfied and grumpy so we turn off the tv and for the next thirty minutes I spill out all of the discouragement that’s been building up inside. Discouragement I had been squashing down but didn’t want to stay squashed anymore:

A great idea I came up with doesn’t seem like it’s going to pan out. We haven’t had small group in forever (well, a month) because first Christmas and now a few people in our group have some sort of cold so we’re taking another week off. I still love writing, but I’m pretty sure my views are throttled. Apparently Spacebook isn’t on board with truth that corresponds to the Bible or (again) reality. Shocking. Somehow I don’t think church will be big in the Metaverse. But, it kinda makes me wonder, “What’s the point?”

Cheerful, I know.

I think now that the holidays are over, the January Blah has reared its boring head. Christmas is put away. It’s cold and grey outside. There’s nothing to plan for or look forward to. And my healthy eating is more conceptual than concrete at the moment. Stupid, delicious, Christmas fudge. Also, don’t do an unrealistic filter on Insta because then you’ll be researching make-up techniques and entertaining the idea of under-eye fat injections. Yep.

I think today’s sermon was right on time. Our pastor finished part two of his sermon on being a church willing to leverage our lives for God’s glory. One thing he spoke about was being obedient to serve where God has us as opposed to where we feel we can serve God best.

This makes me grumpy. Because this means opening myself up to being uncomfortable on a regular basis. And being grumpy about it makes me realize maybe I’m trying to pour from an empty bucket. And then I think about it and, no, I haven’t been reading my Bible consistently or praying on a regular basis.

So that probably needs to change.

Another excellent point Pastor Jacob covered was the fact that we, as Christians, need to know who the Hero of the church is. Because when we insert anyone or anything into the place that only Jesus rightly holds, we are worshiping what can never save us. Social justice will not save anyone. Inclusiveness is not the gospel. Good works, programs, community outreach; even good things become false gospels when we substitute them for repentance and faith alone, by grace alone, in Jesus Christ.

When we elevate anything other than Christ, it’s actually because we want to look like the hero by all of our human effort and clever ideas. Yikes.

This makes me grumpy, too. Because I can see that when I am discouraged with my efforts falling flat, it’s because I’m wrapped up in my own agenda and not surrendering to his. I’m more interested in my glory than his. And that sucks.

But I do praise God that, even when revealed sin hurts, it means I get to do things differently tomorrow. And that I have a kind and patient husband who listens and is willing to talk through my big feelings that just blindside him sometimes.

Those things are encouraging. And when Jesus is the hero of the story, I get to just be close to him, obey, and trust that he will do the heavy lifting.

Hopefully that encourages you, too.

Love you guys.


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