People often compare me to the apostle Paul.
They say, “You’re nothing like the apostle Paul.”
They have a point.
I come from a hard-working middle class family who lived in a medium-sized house in an average suburban town. We moved to Centreville (fitting, isn’t it?) the summer before seventh grade, and starting middle school knowing no one was not exactly easy. I’m sure the purple glasses and forehead acne helped. I was an unhappy and discontent kid, more charming -read surly– than even most of my contemporaries. I took teenage angst to a whole ’nother level. If life was a color back then, it seemed to me the bleak medium-gray of a drizzly mid-morning sky: overcast and immobile. I feel like my whole middle school existence took place in a Kohl’s. Nothing exciting was happening and the lighting was decidedly unflattering.
In high school, I determined things would be different. I decided to spice things up by making really bad life decisions. Unsurprisingly, chaos and consequences ensued.
I had gone to a great church with my friend Julie on and off since elementary school and heard that Jesus was real and that he could really save me, but I wasn’t convinced. My way seemed more fun.
Fast forward ten years and nothing but problems later (let’s stick with the color theme: think black skies, ominous storm clouds, and fiancés with neck tattoos), I was ready to give that Jesus thing a try.
These days I look around and see the kaleidoscope of beautiful colors my life is now comprised of and I can’t help but respond in awe and gratitude for all that God has done for me.
It’s not because I suddenly became so amazing. It’s because I finally put my faith in the One who is.
I have never been a “Super Christian”. I’ve tripped and stumbled along the way like a person with two left feet and vertigo. But God is faithful and his ways are so good that they provide blessing and benefit for even the most unlikely and inept disciples.
The Lord has shown his kindness to me as I’ve endeavored to follow him, even through challenges (some self-inflicted) I’d rather not have gone through. He gave me the gift of faithful, loving friendships that were my family when I was 29 AGAIN and still living the dream as a single, middle-aged waitress at The Cheesecake Factory. Even when life wasn’t progressing the way I hoped, I always had a safe(ish) place to lay my head at night and I always had enough to eat. My car was a hooptie with water on the floorboard and a passenger window that didn’t roll down, but it got me where I needed to go. I’ve been in some great churches. I’ve (eventually) had discernment to walk away from others. I have grown through sanctification. I have fallen flat on my face in full sight of others, and by the help of the Holy Spirit and those friends I mentioned, gotten up again. Through it all, I can look back and see the hand of the Lord guiding me; protecting and providing at every turn.
And now, as I take measure of where I was all those years ago and where I am now, I can’t help but praise him for this full-color life he has given me.
I live in a medium-sized house in a middle-class neighborhood in an average suburban town.
I am happily married seven years to a man I love and trust with my whole heart.
I get to be a mama of sorts to an amazing kid whose middle school experience seems to be off to a decent start, thank God.
We are in a solid, Bible-believing church and we are slowly but surely building relationships with quality people there.
Life is in no way perfect. Bills still, sadly, show up in the mailbox and toilets still need scrubbing.. Appliances still break and cats still throw up on the rug. Feelings still get hurt sometimes. People still be peoplin’.
It’s knowing Jesus and following him that make all the difference.
Gratitude for forgiveness.
Peace for the present.
Hope for the future.
An ordinary life with God at the center.
Full-color.
Absolutely beautiful.
Angela
“The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”
Psalm 16:6 ESV
“But godliness with contentment is great gain,”
1 Timothy 6:6 ESV
