The S Word


Another of my friends slips into a white dress, walks down an aisle, and says “I do.” She’s  beautiful and they are obviously crazy about each other.  I raise my third glass of wine at the reception, and say, from my heart, “It was nice knowing you.”

At our age, the statistics aren’t  pretty. More single women lose friends to marriage than any other natural disaster. Websites like “E-Harmony” and “” are wiping out singles in droves, and the generous liquor laws in our country make an easy target of usually  sensible women. I’ve lost friends. You have too.

Ok, I’m mostly kidding. But I’ll be honest, it kind of sucks when people who used to be up for anything now have to do things “as a couple with couples” (ACWC). It’s cool, I guess. I’ve got Netflix.

Sometimes it’s hard to be stuck, so to say, in a season of life and watch everyone else find that “special someone”. “I’m so happy for you” really means, “That’s great  for you, but where’s my happy ending?”

If I’m not careful, and I’m not, this can turn into a mental interrogation. “What does she have that I don’t?”, or the endearing “Pssh. I wouldn’t want that fool anyway.” It’s ugly, folks.

I promise, I am happy. I’m sure you believe me at this point in the post, but really, I am. That doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with shifting dynamics or my perpetual “Is he the one? Nope.” syndrome.

My love story hasn’t happened yet.  So in the mean time, instead of moping around, I choose to give thanks for all the blessings I have, all the bullets I’ve dodged (no names here. You know who you are), and all of the possibilities that await me. So, without further ado, here is a countdown list I complied on 10 things singles can do at any time they darn well choose:

10 Things Single Women Can Do Whenever:

10. Pajama parties with the girls. Clueless, Mean Girls, and The Vow. On a Wednesday.

9. Pick a spot on the map and roll out. Seriously.  I can move to Spain and drink wine and dance Flamenco.

8. Hang out with dudes. In a Jesus approved manner. I have guys friends I love spending time with and nobody cares.

7.Sprawl out on the bed, find the right spot, and sleep blissfully through the night with the quiet, peaceful whir of the fan on just the right setting.

6. Holidays? With your folks. All the presents, all the pajamas. No three-hour delay in Indianapolis going to see in-laws who will buy you ear muffs and the ugliest snowman sweatshirt Sam Walton ever designed.

5. Put leftovers in the fridge and find tham intact the next day. Come to Mama, P.F. Chang’s!

4. Control the Netflix. House Hunters  International, all day ery day.

3. Invest in other women and make time to show hospitality to them. We have the ability to be spontaneous and flexible and really intentional in our friendships.

2. Spend time working towards your personal and professional goals. Single girls can go with the flow and do whatever it takes to live their dream life. Plan your life around what makes you come alive as an individual!

1. Be available for whatever God calls us to do. Single-mindedness, no pun intended, towards Christ is something the Apostle Paul highly extolled. Being single gives us the huge advantage of time and undivided attention to whatever our ministry looks like, and the opportunities are all around us if we’ll only look.

So there you have it. No sitting around waiting for a man. We’ve got a lot of life to live!

I love my single friends.  I love my married friends. Most of all I love that my story is still being written, and it’s up to me to define what that looks like.


5 Comments Add yours

  1. Angela says:

    Reblogged this on Chocolate Raspberry Cream Pie and commented:

    Still true..


  2. Aussie Girl says:

    Loved this post!!! I also have ‘lost’ many friends to marriage…gave me a good chuckle 🙂 really enjoyed your list, and completely agree!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Angela says:

      Haha we have to look at the positives, right? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aussie Girl says:

        Definitely! And there are indeed some positives to being single 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s