Sorry I’m Not Sorry

95% of the time, I have no idea what I am doing with my life.

No kids, no house,  no man.

Look at this face.


What am I doing wrong?

At least my career is thriving..oh, wait..never mind.

Once a month I forget that millions of people live in dirt huts and try to feed hungry babies on less than 2 dollars a day. Don’t quote me on that.  I’m a writer, not an economist. Or statistician?

The point is, once a month I get dissatisfied with my life even with all the blessings I have. Something  (or the lack of something, wink wink, nudge nudge) convinces me that God is not enough and that I am not up to standard either.

I overlook all the people who love me, my fridge full of (still vegan) food, and my job that provides for me faithfully. I forget that God has brought me out of a self-destructive lifestyle and replaced it with peace.

I look outside of Him and myself to find value and comfort. I trade truth for lies and make excuses for sin.

By the grace of God alone,  I usually snap out of these moods and seek Him until my soul finds rest again.

It does matter what I do with my life, and it’s great to have goals and dreams. It’s not okay to be bitter and jaded when life isn’t perfect, because it’s not perfect for anyone.

Suffering is a part of everyday life. Rich people and poor people alike struggle when self-pity is their life’s focus.

I think the key to a balanced perspective is to be grateful for what you have, thankful for God’s good plans for you, open to advice (thanks, Darryl), motivated to make a positive impact in the world,  and always learning from past mistakes. Also, sometimes tequila, but not too often.

Even writing this out reminds me of the futility of feeling sorry for myself. It’s dumb and it’s a waste of time.  I’d much rather be joyful and hopefully optimistic about what lies ahead. Carpe Diem, right?


Psalm 42:5

 Why am I discouraged?
    Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
    I will praise him again—
    my Savior and my God!

2 Comments Add yours

    1. Angela says:

      I liked this!


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