Did anyone else have an identity crisis when they tied the knot?
I can no longer identify as “single plump waitress living in friend’s attic with constipated cat”. No wonder I didn’t get much action on E-Harmony.
Just kidding. Mostly.
The truth is, I spent many years not quite fitting in with the people around me. I had great friends, but as I got older the ones my age had husbands and nose-pickers, and the singles were ten years younger and wore black rimmed glasses for no reason.
I made it work. I found great friends and I had a rhythm going. I went to a job I didn’t love but I had my weekends off. I found a work from home business I loved and dreamed of the day it would grow and I could leave Terrible Day Job. I dreamed of working hard and being able to buy a little house one day.
Husband threw me off my game.
Not only was I able to quit TDJ and settle into the little house we own, I am a part-time bonus mom now and that’s wonderful and weird.
So, what the heck are my goals now???
I know I still need to get healthy. I just wish pizza and naps produced the same results as salad and gym.
Working my business has become more of a hobby and for the moment I’m giving myself grace with that. There’s been a lot of transition and I need to find my marriage legs (like sea legs but you have to sleep next to someone who snores). I do want to grow a team and help them reach their goals (and get girl time obvs.) It would also be nice to contribute more to our savings or be able to travel without worrying about money.
I do love fostering relationships. We want to have people over often and practice hospitality whenever we can. It brings us joy.
Number one is still Jesus. I’m spending an hour a day in prayer and reading trying to grow that relationship. 2 Chronicles (that’s SECOND Chronicles, Mr. Trump) was this morning’s read and it is crazy how God protected those who loved and obeyed Him, but when they walked away, they were screwed. There’s some pretty encouraging words in there, too.
“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you (God).” 2 Chronicles 20:12
“Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s…You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance that the Lord will give you… Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.￼” (2 Chron 20:15-17)
These powerful words apply to so many things in life, don’t they? Even when we can’t see the battle, we know we are still in a war and we need His help and protection!
So back to the identity crisis.
I think the important thing is to figure out what truly matters to me (us) where we are now and structure my days around those key elements. I have the freedom to truly go after what I believe God has for me (us, dang it). I’m still me, and I’m still His.
Scary and pressury but also exciting and full of possibility. Not a bad place to be.
Happy Friday, friends.
Angela (at least that part hasn’t changed)