I’ve given my heart to some real winners.
There was the alcoholic, the guy who stole my money and helped me look for it, and the one with anger issues who sent me an “I can’t stop eating” GIF because I didn’t want to date him anymore and had put on ten pounds that year.
Fast forward three years. I’m married to an actual Boy Scout. I walked down the aisle at my heaviest weight and he couldn’t stop talking about how beautiful I looked (ok he said hot but his mom will probably read this). He loves me not just in word, but in action. He chooses kindness every day. I have never trusted anyone so completely.
My eyes are tearing up as I write this. I am not the girl who ends up with Prince Charming. Except for two words..
Guess what, though? Being a Christian doesn’t mean God waves a wand and you suddenly have it all together. I allowed myself to be treated like crap after I became a Christian, too. I believed in Jesus but I still didn’t see myself the way he described me: pure, loved, forgiven, accepted, worthy of real love.
I was resentful of how I was treated but I stayed anyway. I knew it wasn’t what God had for me, but it was hard to let go because being alone seemed worse.
Finally, I’d had enough. I didn’t want to repeat the previous year, or the one before.
Finally, I chose faith over fear.
I chose to obey God and stepped away completely from yet another unhealthy, toxic relationship.
I spent time healing, and got stronger spiritually. In cutting off the dead, I became alive to the next season God had for me.
When that Godly man asked me out a year and a half later, I was ready. I was emotionally available, maybe for the first time. I was able to accept real love, and healed enough to give it back to him.
What I want to say to anyone who knows this struggle like I do:
Just because you’re used to it doesn’t mean you have to stay there. The only one keeping you there is you.
Don’t settle for less.
He has opened prison doors, but it’s up to us to walk out.
God has such beautiful things for us on the other side of faith and obedience. That’s a promise. He did it for me and He will do it for you.
What are you waiting for?
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.