Why do we care so much what people think? 

It starts early.

I still remember vividly standing out on the huge field behind Fairfax Villa Elementary. Our fourth grade class was split into two teams for a rousing game of Capture the Flag. I was wearing a stylish purple sweat suit, and I was positioned right next to my long-time crush, Kurt Zortman. 

I don’t know what prompted the remark, but I do know Kurt called out to another player that there was a girl behind him wearing “f#@king pajamas.”

I didn’t let on, but that hurt. I’m sure I poured heart out to Julie, Corey, and Azy at recess while we were playing yet another game of Aliens, which entailed us climbing the Ladder to Nowhere and speaking in ridiculous voices, calling each other by the monikers of Bitsy, BeeBop, Bozo, and Baby. 

Ok, we were weird. But it’s crazy how one comment can stick with you for over twenty years. 

The hurts add up. Middle school and high school are all about discovering who you are and who you want to be, and that can entail some weird fashion, hair, and friends. I may have been heavily entrenched in hip-hop culture and worn a lot of Nautica and Tommy Hilfiger with big hoop earrings. I also skipped school a lot and wasn’t the most prim and proper of teenagers. I was a hot mess, and people said hurtful things about me. I honestly probably deserved some of it.

Fast forward to now..living for God, a great group of encouraging women around me, and confidence that I have chosen what is most important..and yet.. I get crap for being a goody-goody, which isn’t even accurate! I’m just trying to be happy, healthy, and wise and for me that means I don’t need to be crazy! I know I’m happier this way!

It still hurts.

I think at some point, we just have to say “whatever”.

People are always going to have opinions, and the only opinions that matter are God’s and the friends you choose to seek advice from.

Well, and state and federal law enforcement, but that goes without saying. Usually.

I love these lyrics by Lecrae:

“Identity”
(feat. Da’ T.R.U.T.H. & J.R.)

[Verse 1: Lecrae]
Hair, check!
Shoes, check!
A brand new fit, lookin’ cool, check!
I’m lookin’ in the mirror like oooh, yes!
To cover for an insecure dude, check!
But she won’t feel me and they won’t like me
If I ain’t in them J’s or them brand new nikes
Let’s dig deeper inside my psyche
When it’s all said and done even I don’t like me
He live in the gym and his hair stay faded
Late model car so they think he made it
He’s Christian, he gave his life
But he still ain’t satisfied in the savior Christ
Still finds his identity in looks and cars
If he only knew that he ain’t have to look so hard
If he looked in God
It may seem odd
But he be so satisfied, he can leave it all

[Chorus:]
I’m not the shoes I wear
I’m not the clothes I buy
I’m not the house I live in
I’m not the car I drive, no

I’m not the job I work
You can’t define my worth
By nothing on God’s green earth
My identity is found in Christ, is found in Christ

[Verse 2: LeCrae]
Got her hair done, toes, nails
Is that Her, well it’s hard to tell
Cause she’s so caked up in all that make up
It’s like she tryna make up for what she ain’t but,
She’s a saint, but so confused
Cause she’s been rejected by all these dudes
That tell her on a scale of 10 she’s a two
But that ain’t true
If she only knew
In Christ she is loved, she secure and accepted
Never be rejected by God whose elected her
Her beauty is her Godliness
And she ain’t gotta flaunt it cause it’s obvious
Identity is found in the God we trust
And any other identity will self destruct
Identity is found in the God we trust
And any other identity will self destruct

[Chorus:]
I’m not the shoes I wear
I’m not the clothes I buy
I’m not the house I live in
I’m not the car I drive, no

I’m not the job I work
You can’t define my worth
By nothing on God’s green earth
My identity is found in Christ, is found in Christ

[Verse 3: Da’ T.R.U.T.H]
Hey, how do I gain success
Why do I say I’m blessed, huh
Is it the car that I drive
Or the place that I rest
Or the way that I dress, now, now
Is the cause of my pride
The stage and the set
Or my face in the press, now, now
It’s the applause that dies
When the praise is less
If my face is depressed, then, then
It’s cause my value and worth is in the volume of the work I produce in the booth
It’s a prize and a curse if defined by the perks when the truth is through
Man I won’t feel like I don’t want to live no more, no more, no more
Cause they don’t like me, like they did in 04, 04, 04
So I swallow my pride empowered by God, I’m complete in Him
He’s got peace God’s priest, I’m in
In His presence weak is strength
Meet His kin
We His brethren
Read this list
Me forgiven
He’s dismissed guilt and my sin
And then I find my worth cause I’m Jesus’ friend

[Chorus:]
I’m not the shoes I wear
I’m not the clothes I buy
I’m not the house I live in
I’m not the car I drive, no

I’m not the job I work
You can’t define my worth
By nothing on God’s green earth
My identity is found in Christ, is found in Christ

When it’s all about Him,  we’re freed up to just live. I want that to be my reality.

Ang