40:40 Day 24

Never ask God to humble you. I can’t clearly remember why, but for some reason I was feeling like a hot shot at work. I must have gotten a lot of guest compliments, or maybe I scored high on some Secret Shopper reports. All I know is, I was so prideful that I got convicted…

Open Foot, Insert Mouth

I can think of three separate occasions on which I could have been fired.  They all involve me saying something I shouldn’t have. Not on purpose, mind you. But still, out loud.   The first time was years ago when I was waiting on a lesbian couple. One of them was clearly the dude in the…

The Magic Formula

This is what you’ve been waiting for.  Friends, the wait is over! We all know I’m a big, capital- W-Weirdo when it comes to traveling.  If I’ve read the temperature in Norway fluctuates between “hypothermia” and “eight layers should do ya”, there’s nor way I’m going there. It’s probably  beautiful,  but I’ll never know.  But,…

Oh The Places I Won’t Go

Scene: AshWat and I, conversing over gourmet Ramen in a little noodle place  on the corner of Lombardy and Main  AshWat: “Let’s do a Spanish immersion program!” Me: “That sounds fun! Where?” AshWat: “There are three locations but I’m definitely leaning towards Peru.” Me: “Thanks, but no thanks. I hate Peru.” AshCap (choking on FooDog…