I can think of three separate occasions on which I could have been fired. They all involve me saying something I shouldn’t have. Not on purpose, mind you. But still, out loud. The first time was years ago when I was waiting on a lesbian couple. One of them was clearly the dude in the…
Peace for the Future
AshLueb and I are doing a study on the book of Daniel. Well, she accidentally got the leader guide instead of the workbook so I’m a week ahead of her. Womp womp. In today’s lesson, Beth (we’re on a first name basis) is teaching about King Nebuchadnezzar’s prophetic dream. It made him fear for his…
Sexy and I Know It
Me, rubbing my hands together vigorously to get my “Up and At ‘Em” blend of essential oils thoroughly mixed. Brings hands to face. Gets too much citrus up the nose and starts gagging. Says to myself “You’re a peach. A peach.” Gets back in bed. I look homeless. I’m wearing fuzzy purple socks and an…
Food for Thought
I have never considered myself a hippie. I hate the smell of Patchouli and I think Birkenstocks are lesbian shoes. However, I love animals and I love eating food that’s not going to give me cancer. Therefore, I one hundred percent am trying my best to buy in a way that honors my body and…
The Magic Formula
This is what you’ve been waiting for. Friends, the wait is over! We all know I’m a big, capital- W-Weirdo when it comes to traveling. If I’ve read the temperature in Norway fluctuates between “hypothermia” and “eight layers should do ya”, there’s nor way I’m going there. It’s probably beautiful, but I’ll never know. But,…
10:21 Digital Detox
Life is unfolding all around me and I’m afraid I’m going to miss it. Social media is sucking away minutes and hours of my life I’m supposed to be living! Yesterday I logged out of Facebook on my phone so I couldn’t mindlessly start scrolling, only to realize with horror five minutes later that I’d…
The Cutest Stowaway
As I pulled up to the stop light, I became aware of a noise. It was almost like a bird, but no..maybe it was kids playing somewhere near the gas station? Weird. I turned left as the light changed and heard the sound yet again. It was coming from inside my car. I tried not…
You Are What You Eat
I always thought this was kind of a stupid saying. Something naturally thin people (ones who actually prefer lettuce to chocolate) said to make you feel bad about actually enjoying a magical place with Golden Arches. I had a credit for an audio book with Audible (they sucked me in again with a free two-month…
Angela and the Ashleys’ European Vacation: All Good Things Come To An End
Only two vacation days left. Real life loomed unappealingly just around the corner, and I wished with all my heart I could make time stand still. When again would I get to spend ten days in an exotic location with two of my best friends? Better enjoy the crap out of it while it lasted….
Angela and the Ashleys’ European Vacation: Part Five
New day, new adventure. Tuesday morning we packed our bags and settled in for a relaxing four-hour bus ride south to the sunny beach town of Lagos. The Portuguese countryside may be scrubby, sparse,and unremarkable (making for boring scenery) but its coastline is jaw-droppingly gorgeous, and we couldn’t wait to see it for ourselves! After…
